


Sick Raccoons

by sarahgirl1998



Series: HTF sneezefics [41]
Category: Happy Tree Friends
Genre: Comedy, Common Cold, Gen, Humor, Illnesses, Male Sneezing, Sick Character, Sickfic, Sneezing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 13:16:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15558555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahgirl1998/pseuds/sarahgirl1998
Summary: The sequel to Swelter Skelter Rewritten. Lifty and Shifty are still feeling sick, so they decide to go to Sniffles’ house so he can take care of them.





	Sick Raccoons

“HaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

Lifty and Shifty doubled over in unison as they released another particularly loud sneeze. Upon recovering, they rubbed their noses with their forefingers, sniffling as they did so.

“Ugh... G-gesundheit, bro,” Shifty said weakly.

“You too...” Lifty responded with another audible sniffle.

It had been a day since Lifty and Shifty’s most recent scheme. They really thought that kidnapping Cro-Marmot and bringing him to their apartment would be a good way to cool off. It was, at first, but then the raccoons not only got too cold, they also felt sick and started to sneeze a lot. They could only assume that since Cro-Marmot made their place too cold, he indirectly made them get sick. They managed to get him out of their apartment by the end of the day, but they still weren’t feeling so good.

Right now, Lifty and Shifty were laying in their bed together, neither one feeling any better than the other. They were looking just as awful as they felt, with partially red eyes and heavy eyelids, and bright red and extremely ticklish noses. Also, their throats were feeling pretty sore, partially due to the sickness itself, and partially due to their constant sneezing. How could one look at these poor raccoons and not feel bad for them?

“Ugh...” Shifty sniffled again as he rubbed his nose once with his fist. “This is the worst thing...”

“Yeah...” Lifty agreed. Suddenly, his nose twitched again, and he quickly turned away from Shifty as his breath hitched.

“Aah... Aaaaah...” Lifty tilted his upper body back, and threw both of his hands over his mouth before he exploded. “HAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Shifty couldn’t help but cringe as Lifty released the sneeze. As soon as he recovered, Lifty pulled his hands away from his mouth, then rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“Ugh...”

“Gesundheit,” said Shifty.

“Thanks...” Lifty continued to rub his nose for a few moments. Not long after that, however, Shifty reached over, pulled Lifty’s hand away from his nose and began to rub his nose for him. Lifty could only blush slightly as he sniffled.

“Uh, bro? You don’t have to...” Lifty pointed out.

“I know, but I don’t like to see you like this. I really don’t,” Shifty said.

When it seems as though Lifty had fully recovered from his sneeze, Shifty finally pulled his hand away.

“Better?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Without warning, a painful sensation surged through Lifty’s head. He couldn’t resist putting one hand on his head and rubbing it.

“Ugh... I sure could use some TLC right about now.”

“Me too.” Shifty would have said more than that, but his nose suddenly twitched. He sniffled and rubbed his nose with his fist a few times, but to his internal dismay, it didn’t help.

“Huuh... HaaaaaaaAAAAH...” Shifty inhaled, then turned away from Lifty before he released the sneeze. “CHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“Ugh...” Shifty sniffled loudly as he rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“Gesundheit,” Lifty said.

“Thanks...” Shifty continued to rub his nose as he sniffled once more. “We gotta find someone who can take care of us.”

He slowly stepped out of his side of the bed and picked up his smartphone, which had been plugged in all day. He checked his contacts and scrolled through the list that came up. Eventually, he found Sniffles’ name and phone number. Maybe he would be able to help Lifty and Shifty feel better.

Shifty touched the Call button as soon as it appeared and waited for a response. He sniffled a few times and rubbed his nose occasionally as he did so. Lifty knew what Shifty wanted to do, so he didn’t say anything. He just stayed on his side of the bed, watching something on his own smartphone and rubbing his nose.

Suddenly, Shifty heard a familiar voice from the other line.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Sniffles?” Shifty started. “It’s Shifty.”

“Oh, hi, Shifty, how are you?” Sniffles asked.

“To be honest...” Shifty paused to sniffle. “We’re not feeling that great.”

“Oh, what’s wrong?”

“It’s a long story, but we might have come down with something,” said Shifty. “I was planning on coming over to your place with Lifty so we can explain it to you...”

“Oh, sure,” said Sniffles. “And if you want, I’ll also take care of you two.”

“That’s kind of what I want... Haaaah-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Shifty sneezed into his hand and rubbed his nose with it. “Ugh.”

“Gesundheit. Would you also like me to make you a potion to help you recover?” Sniffles offered.

“Thanks, but no, thanks. I really don’t wanna drink another one of those...”

“Well, okay. See you in a few minutes.”

Shifty hung up as he continued to rub his nose. Lifty finished watching his video and turned the screen off on his phone, then looked at Shifty.

“We’re gonna go to Sniffles’ place, aren’t we?” Lifty asked.

“Yep,” Shifty responded.

“That’s what I thought you’d say.” Lifty sniffled and rubbed his nose, which had started to twitch slightly. “I’ll be up in a minute...”

He sat on the edge of the bed, and then stepped out. The moment he did, however, he needed to sneeze again.

“Aaaah... Haaaaaaaaaaaah...” As Lifty inhaled, Shifty looked at him with concern at first, and then plugged his ears with his forefingers. A final inhale afterward, Lifty exploded.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Lifty shot his neck forwards as he released the sneeze, with a good amount of spray being released from his mouth. Shifty cringed as he heard it, but then he looked at Lifty in concern. Lifty sniffled as he rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

“Gesundheit,” said Shifty.

“Thanks, bro...” Lifty continued to rub his nose.

“Now are you ready to go?”

“Y-Yeah.”

A few minutes later, Lifty and Shifty got out of their apartment room and headed outside. As soon as they did so, however, they felt their noses tickle intensely. The amount of pollen in the air must have been through the roof. With barely any time to react, Lifty and Shifty began to inhale as their eyes watered.

“Aaaah, haaaaaah... HaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH--“ They tilted their necks back, then threw their hands over their mouths and released in unison. “CHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Both of their sneezes were pretty loud and painful, to the point where they almost wished they hadn’t covered their mouths. After a few seconds had passed, the raccoons recovered from their sneezes, pulled their spray-covered hands away and rubbed their noses. Lifty did so on his forefinger, as usual, and Shifty did so on his arm.

“Ugh... my head...” Shifty said to himself.

“First our sickness, and now this pollen? It’s like we haven’t been sneezing enough,” Lifty replied.

Despite this, however, they still decided to leave and head to Sniffles’ house. They sneezed a few times along the way, sometimes from their illness and other times from the pollen in the air, but they kept going. They wouldn’t let their sick, allergic and sneezy selves get in the way.

Soon, they made it to Sniffles’ house, and they stepped up to the front door. Sniffles was in the living room, reading a book, when he heard the doorbell. He put his book down, stood up and walked over to the door. But before he could open it, he heard a loud sneeze coming from outside.

“Huuuh-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Sniffles cringed and plugged his ears as he heard the sneeze. Once it had subsided, he removed his forefingers from his ears, then grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.

“Um, gesundheit,” he said.

“Thanks...” Lifty said as he rubbed his nose with his forefinger. He was the one who had sneezed.

“Hey, Sniffles,” Shifty greeted Sniffles, but he didn’t respond to him.

“Oh, my...” Sniffles looked concerned for Lifty and Shifty now that he had seen how sick they really were. “Are you two feeling alright?”

“Nope,” Shifty said with a sniffle. “I told you when I called you, remember?”

“Yeah. I can tell you weren’t lying.” Sniffles moved out of the way. “Why don’t you two come on in?”

Lifty and Shifty did as they were told, then arrived at the living room and sat down on the couch. Sniffles went over to them and felt their foreheads. They were a little warm.

“I think you’ve come down with fevers,” he stated.

“How ironic.” Shifty rubbed his slightly itchy nose with his arm.

“I’d say you’ve both caught the common cold,” Sniffles went on. “I’ll have to take your temperatures, however, before I can confirm that.”

“Haaaah...” Shifty inhaled once, and then sneezed into his hand. “Choooooo! Ugh...”

Shifty sniffled a few times as he rubbed his nose with his fist. Sniffles let him do so, giggling to himself from how cute it looked, and then he pulled out a thermometer and shoved it into Shifty’s mouth. After a few seconds, he removed it and looked at it. His pupils shrunk slightly in concern.

“Oh, my...” he said to himself before he turned to Lifty. “I hope yours isn’t any worse...”

Before Lifty could respond, Sniffles inserted the thermometer into his mouth, to his internal dismay. After a few seconds, Sniffles pulled the thermometer out and read it.

“I’m afraid you both have fevers of 101,” Sniffles lamented. “I can only conclude that you’ve caught the common cold.”

“Ugh.” Shifty rubbed his nose. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

“It’s pretty much our own fault we got sick,” Lifty said.

“Your fault?” Sniffles questioned. “I thought maybe you caught it off someone else...”

“Nope. You see, what happened was that... Haaaaah...” Lifty suddenly inhaled, and then put both of his hands over his mouth before he sneezed again. This time, it was uncharacteristically quiet. “Choooo!”

“Gesundheit,” Sniffles said as Lifty rubbed his nose with his forefinger. “So what was it that happened?”

“It all started yesterday. It was really hot, and me and Lifty were at the park. All we wanted to do was cool down,” Shifty said.

“And when Cro-Marmot arrived in his ice cream truck, we decided to capture him and put him in our apartment,” said Lifty.

“It did cool us down, but then we got too cold,” Shifty went on. “And when we tried to warm ourselves up again, we started sneezing.”

“Hmm...” Sniffles thought about what the raccoons had just told him. “I guess it really is your fault you got yourselves sick, since you brought Cro-Marmot into your apartment in the first place.

“Yeah...” Lifty and Shifty replied.

“And by the way, did you ever get him out of your apartment?” Sniffles wanted to know.

“Yeah, we did. Or at least, Lifty did...” Shifty said, causing Lifty to blush hard.

“Well, I’m glad. But I hope you two don’t make that mistake again...”

“You really think we would?” Shifty didn’t look amused.

“That was a dumb move, even for us!” said Lifty.

“I gotta say, it kind of was an unwise idea...” Sniffles admitted, quietly.

“HAAAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The raccoons sneezed loudly in unison, catching Sniffles off-guard. They then sniffled, rubbing their noses with their forefingers.

“Gesundheit,” Sniffles said.

“Thanks...” the raccoons replied, still rubbing their noses.

“I’ll take care of you if you want, but I’d like you to behave yourselves. I know what you’ve done to me and the others over the years...”

“I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem,” Shifty said with a sniffle.

“In the meantime, however, you guys can rest on my couch. If you need anything, all you have to do is let me know.”

“Okay, thanks,” Lifty said.

Sniffles gave the raccoons a couple of blankets and then walked out of the room to give them some time alone. Lifty and Shifty stayed on the couch, sniffling occasionally.

“Well, at least someone’s taking care of us...” Shifty mentioned, and then sneezed again into his hands. The sneeze was audible, but nowhere near powerful. “Haaaah-chooooooooooooo!”

“Ugh...” Shifty removed his hands and rubbed his nose with his arm. Lifty looked at him in concern, and then rubbed his nose a little for him.

“It could be worse. We could’ve asked Lumpy to take care of us,” Lifty mentioned.

“Yeah. He’s already gotten sick enough times, anyway,” Shifty replied. “How could this cold get any worse?”

“Huhh... Haaaaah...” Lifty inhaled as he tilted his neck back. He was going to sneeze again, and this was going to be a big one.

“Huh?” Shifty turned to look at Lifty, only for his pupils to shrink in fear. “Oh, not again...”

“HaaaaaaaAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Lifty shot his neck forwards as he exploded with two monstrous sneezes, with a good amount of spray and clear mucus spurting out of his mouth and nose. Shifty cringed as he saw him do so. As soon as he recovered, Lifty rubbed his nose several times with his forefinger, sniffling loudly.

“Ugh...”

“Gesundheit,” Shifty said as he offered his brother a tissue, which he was smart enough to have brought with him. “I guess that’s one way it could get worse.”

“Thanks.” Lifty accepted the tissue and rubbed his nose with it. “Ugh...”

“Yeah, you’re right, this is definitely worse,” Lifty said as he continued to wipe his red nose, trying to get the mucus off it. “But it’ll probably just keep getting worse.”

“Yeah.” Shifty sighed to himself and got out his phone. “We’re gonna be here a while.”

Lifty reached for the TV remote and turned on the TV, and then started flipping through channels for something to watch. Shifty ignored him, not wanting to watch TV as much as he wanted to watch some videos on his phone. While he waited for the video he found to load, he sniffled and wiped his nose a few times. His nose must have started running, too.

This was going to be a long week or so for these poor raccoons.


End file.
